


Dark Side, Bright Light

by markeubaby



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 20:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markeubaby/pseuds/markeubaby
Summary: Jaehyun loves Taeyong. Taeyong loves Jaehyun. That is when their world suddenly collapsed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Jaeyong drabble. May contain grammatical errors since English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy it :)  
> hit me up on twitter @markeubaby  
> Inspired by: Phoebe Ryan // Dark Side

Taeyong loves fighting. He thinks that beating people up can also beat the empty feeling in his heart. Feeling the pain physically is better than feeling a pain that can’t be touched. He doesn't mind seeing blood dripping from his mouth. The bruise has become common. That's why he prefers bruises and blood because people can see it, not like his heart and mind that hurt like hell but doesn't even leave a trace. Taeyong doesn't care if he has to lay down in the hospital bed for weeks than dealing with depression. He hates depression so much. He would do anything to just get that out from his life. But he can't. That's why he's seeking relieve by beating up or being beaten.

Jaehyun loves peace. He just wants to stay out of trouble and have a normal life. A boring one people called. He just wants to get diploma, job, then be successful. Married is not on his list because he knows better than anyone that he can’t marry a man without society judging him to death. He doesn't want a life like that because he's desperate to be normal. But his heart won't listen to him no matter how hard he tries. But for Jaehyun sacrificing love for a normal life is fine. He thinks love is just something delusional. To think that he could finally someone who'll love him, or to think that maybe even though he's with his lover everything will stay the same is delusional. He loves peace so much. He loves his boring life so much, which is weird, but he just doesn’t want to get out from that.

Taeyong believes that would stay the same. He will live the rest of his life being unloved. He's going to keep beating his depression by beating people. Jaehyun also believes he will stay the same. He just needs to finish his education, get a job, then success. He wants to live a life where he can be normal, where everything will go as he planned. But everything's collapsed right now.

Jaehyun loves Taeyong. And turns out he keeps rethinking about what he could possibly get by getting diploma and job. Happiness? Not even close to that, because the word happiness only exists when he's with Taeyong.

Taeyong also loves Jaehyun even more that he could imagine. But he doesn't want to get Jaehyun involved into his messy life. Taeyong has enemy almost everywhere and being with Jaehyun will make him has a weakness. And Jaehyun can get hurt. Thinking that makes him feeling awful, he loves blood, but not if it is from Jaehyun's body.

 

Jaehyun thought he could change. Taeyong too. Jaehyun could just give up his normal life. Give up his diploma and job then run away with Taeyong. But Taeyong also ready to stop beating people up, and say sorry to all of his enemies to have a normal life with Jaehyun. He's ready to face his depression this time. Well, at least he can try. He's ready to let his bruises heal.

They thought.

 

But in fact doing that wasn't as simple as what they said. Jaehyun's not quite ready to let go his life and Taeyong is barely breathing without bruises in his hands.

"I don't want you to change, Taeyong. I know you can't change so easily. It's okay if you don't want to change I'll run away with you. We can hide. I don't mind if you keep being like this, I love you as you are, you don't need to change for me Tae."

Jaehyun's words are just too romantic. As if it comes from a romance novel. That’s just delusional and Taeyong knows. Of course Jaehyun can't do that. Letting something go is not easy even if that's just a daily routine.

"No, Jae. What's wrong with you! You don't want me to change into a better person?"

That’s just a lie. Taeyong knows better than anyone that he could never be a better person. He wants to laugh at himself right now. He just gives Jaehyun empty promises and false hope.

"You should just stay as you are. If it's for the best please just leave me. Forget me, Jae. Get your diploma and job and everything you want."

Taeyong can handle broken ribs, bruised knuckles, but he can't handle this kind of feeling. Not even a bit.

"But I want you Taeyong. You want me to get everything that I want. But you're trying to push me away. Then how could I possibly get everything that I want."

Jaehyun almost screamed. He hates Taeyong. But he loves him. Tonight they're both just leaving each other with bruises that the other can't see. Taeyong once again back into his daily life. Jaehyun too. But tonight Taeyong isn't beating people; he just beats a dead wall. He’s trying to replace the heartache with physical pain while Jaehyun is crying in silent, looking at his ceiling. Wishing he could fix everything. Wishing he could balance his life with Taeyong's. But he can't. Taeyong lives in the street, loving darkness, and even if Jaehyun says he's okay with the dark Taeyong won't let him step on it because for Taeyong that's the only way to keep Jaehyun safe. But what if the person he's desperately trying to save doesn't want safety or anything except him. Only heartbreak will remain.


End file.
